I don’t want to blog about the guy I am/was/is/kinda dating, I don’t know what him and I are any more. We are stuck on each other, its a hot mess of feelings and its just not nice or pretty right now.
Hes leaving to train for a new job in a different state for 5 months, then goes to his new job in a different state and here I sit in this state without him. He doesn’t want to see me or be around me, said its just to hard. I feel the same way, but I miss him and hes only 20 mins from me right now. I have no idea what I’m going to do when hes 20 hours away and wouldn’t let me come see him.
When he tells me its to hard to see me, because hes still so attracted to me that its just hard to be near me and not be right next to me. Two things go thur my head..
Yeah! He still has the need/want to be with me! and then right to DAMNIT! It breaks my heart. He still feels this much for me, but he wants to give up and just walk away and not fight for me because hes scared.
All I can do is keep my tears from him, keep a smile on my face and don’t give up? Hes told me, I’m the best thing that’s happen to him in a long time, loves me, but knows he will just fuck things up between us an its just better we part ways before something bad happens and I end up hating him.
I wish I could hate him, but I cant.
pinkgem73 